Embarking on my last week staying home with Carter is bittersweet. More bitter than sweet. Albeit I am looking forward to returning to campus — no doubt to 95+ squirrely seniors ravenous for graduation and approximately 50 freshmen closing in on the loathsome sophomore title — I will miss my daytime fancies of remaining a SAHM (Stay at Home Mom).
My days have brewed into a happy concotion of waking to a baby boy fussing in the room across from ours (he’s been sleeping successfully in his crib for a couple of weeks now) and groggily grabbing for my classes before heading downstairs to warm a bottle. We turn on the news, feed, burp, and move to an activity: read a book together? squirm on the playmat? gurgle at the hedgehog dangling over the swing? All viable options. Then it’s a mixture of cleaning the house, laundry, answering emails, seeing family, cutting coupons, running errands. In between there’s a cycle of nap times swaddled under a swirling mobile, three-ounce liquid snacks, and deep conversations with my wide-eyed, pint-sized son. Sometimes there’s a doctor’s appointment or a coffee with a friend. I realize as I’m typing this that I won’t be able to adequately sum up why it’s fulfilling to be a SAHM. It will just sound quaint and contrived, a domestic cliché. It doesn’t matter; it’s not a possibility for me, and I am probably just getting under my own skin by hypothesizing. But spending my days as a fulltime homemaker is worth a daydream or two.
The picture above is my little bird, snuggled under his blanket that Erin knit for him. I imagine this will be his favorite snuggle buddy. My uncles had Egg and Perg; my cousins and niece have their ‘saucies’. I wonder what Carter will call his.